3. Evasion of First Principles

The erudite scholar is as vulnerable as anybody else, if not more, to common human failings such as greed, envy, manipulation, pretension, anger and fear. Erudition has done little to bring liberation from these failings. The suffering and humiliation that a brilliant scientist or intellectual or artist undergoes when, year after year, he finds himself overlooked for a prestigious award, can be very severe. Furthermore, it is like adding insult to injury when a “less deserving” colleague wins the award; the pain can become unbearable.

How ironical it is that extreme brilliance can coexist with extreme stupidity in the same individual! How ironical it is that with growing age, education and experience, one may gain tremendous knowledge and yet remain tremendously unwise!

The underlying deep-seated fear in one relates to the very essence of one’s being. One is afraid of being reduced to a “nobody”. One craves unconsciously a sense of importance, an acknowledgement of one’s worth by others. When such acknowledgement is not forthcoming, one ventures to create the grounds for it. Could this be the reason why many old people love to narrate to us, often with endless repetition, their so-called accomplishments? They become legends in their own minds.

Why are we in such dire need of a continual reassurance of our own worth? Why can’t we just be? Why are we ashamed sometimes to be simply ourselves, which means dropping all pretences and image building exercises? Why are we so afraid of the natural process of aging: the wrinkles in the skin and the greying and falling off of hair?

We do not dare confront such questions, because we are afraid of the possible answers.