The power of thinking is well recognised, but
not so the power of “awareness”.
We may talk of two dimensions of awareness:
that of one’s “inner” world
and that of the so-called “outer”
world, although at the deepest level, the distinctions
of inner and outer tend to dissolve. Most of
us are unaware, or, at best, superficially aware,
of what is going on inside us and around us,
and this is because we are entrapped by our
ego-selves all the time. Some degree of freedom
from the ego-self is necessary to enable both
inner and outer awareness.
Inner
awareness manifests in looking calmly at oneself,
like a witness, with detachment, without judgement
and without intervention. It is almost like
scientific observation, except that there is
no labelling and theorising. Awareness is a
dynamic activity, always in the present. It
is perhaps more like looking at oneself through
the eyes of God –– not a frightening
and judging God, but an omnipresent and compassionate
One.
Our “normal” mode of consciousness
is usually characterised by a complete lack
of awareness. We are not in touch with what
is really going on inside us moment-to-moment,
because our attention is unconsciously projected
outward. There appears to be need for a conscious
motivation on the part of the “subject”
to choose itself as the “object”
of attention. Indeed, the very fact that this
is possible, suggests that one’s essential
reality (subject) is distinct from one’s
ego-self (object).
This
object manifests as thought and emotion, and
when the ego-self disappears (even momentarily)
from the field of attention, one remains in
a state of “pure consciousness”,
which is the ultimate reality that is referred
to repeatedly in our ancient teaching. The discovery
of this ability to treat one’s own ego-self
as an object of attention is the beginning of
inner awareness.
However, the ego-self usually ensures that this
awakening does not happen by keeping the mind
preoccupied with relentless mental activity
all the time. It is as though we are possessed
by something over which we have little or no
control. There is a deep sense of insecurity
in its very existence, and it has to make its
presence felt somehow, all the time. Awareness
can reveal this insecurity, whenever the notion
of the ego-self is threatened. This is revealed
by the reactions of the ego-self in the form
of boredom, anger, jealousy, hurt, worry, etc.
These reactions are accompanied by characteristic
manifestations in the physical body and one
learns to recognise these signals. The mind
may say, “I am not angry”, but the
body reaction will expose the lie.
